God is not perceived by the five senses. The things that are seen
are temporal, but those that are unseen are eternal. What a sin of presumption
to question God in any of His providences. What God says
and does is wisdom, righteousness and power.
The book of Psalms condemned me. I said, I never felt like David.
I cannot rejoice. Still I felt that I ought to, but instead, a constant
feeling of condemnation and conviction. This was torture to me. I would
often have been willing to have died, if I thought it would have been an
eternal sleep. My childhood and girlhood were not happy; had so many
disappointments. I was called "hard headed" by my parents. I never was
free to have what I wished; something would come between me and what
I wanted. No one understood me so well as my darling aunt Hope Hill,
my mother's sister. She seemed to read me and would talk to me of persons
and things, answering the very cry of my heart. My mother would
often let me stay with her for months. She had five sons, but no daughters
and she was very fond of me. This lesson she taught me: A party
of ladies came out from Independence to spend the day with her. Mrs.
Woodson and a Mrs. Porter, wife of Dr. Porter, I remember the latter, one
of the handsomest women I ever saw, beautiful feet, hands, hair, and a
woman who knew it, and, it was a mater of the greatest pride with her,
these charms. I was very much captivated by her splendid appearance
and could not keep my eyes from her.
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