Be good enough not to put obstacles in my path. Your
levity impels me to distractions which I condemn even while I yield to
them. I perceive a weakness in your nature that fills me with
misgivings for my future; if you do not learn to resist temptation, to
what errors may I not be driven later on--to what outbreaks of
frivolity will you not condemn me when we are men?"
Well, it is no part of my confession to whitewash myself his misgivings
were realised! So far as I had any serious aspirations at all, I
aspired to be a painter, and, after combating my family's objections, I
entered an art school in Paris. Gregoire, on the other hand, was
destined for the law. During the next few years we met infrequently,
but that my brother continued to be affected by any unusual conditions
of my body and mind I knew by his letters, which seldom failed to
contain expostulations and entreaties. If he could have had his way,
indeed, I believe he would have shut me in a monastery.
Upon my word, I was not without consideration for him, but what would
you have? I think some sympathy was due to me also. Regard the
situation with my eyes! I was young, popular, an artist; my life was no
more frivolous than the lives of others of my set; yet, in lieu of
being free, like them, to call the tune and dance the measure, I was
burdened with a heavier responsibility than weighs upon the shoulders
of any paterfamilias.
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